Love, relationships, and marriage, alongside career and a prosperous life, are at the core of most people's concerns. For many, the ideal of a fulfilled life is rooted in financial stability and living alongside a loved one. Often, right after adolescence, we feel as though we must choose between love and career, even though balancing both would be the ideal solution, albeit not always an easy one. Social constraints and family pressure, in many cases, force young people to make hasty decisions, whether it's about their studies and career path or the choice of a life partner.

In many cases, these "forced" choices turn out to be wrong, and we often find ourselves, after reaching our 30s, among the ranks of the unhappy ones—or even those seeking a psychologist or a fortune teller. In the end, the sole purpose in life is to be happy, and no matter how many compromises we make, at some point, the absence of happiness will mark the rest of our lives. And no, it's never too late to make a change or, sometimes, to hit reset and start over.

However, in order not to repeat the same mistakes, it's crucial to discover who we truly are and what we need to be happy. There are courses, seminars, conferences, psychologists, life coaches, motivators, and specialists in various methods, both traditional and modern, yet we can easily notice that most people who attend these events are often tempted to follow them all. Why? The answer is, most often, that miraculous solutions don’t exist (they are so rare that it's not worth even thinking about them), and for any method to be effective, it requires two essential things from you—things that you cannot outsource and must do yourself. These are acceptance and action.

You must accept yourself as you are. We are all different, with our own qualities and flaws. Hiding our flaws and failing to highlight our qualities never brings good results. Once we understand ourselves and accept that we must work to correct our flaws and enhance our qualities, all that's left is to take action—overcoming our fears, prejudices, and sometimes laziness, and doing what we know must be done. Just like in business, if you don’t invest enough, you can’t expect great returns. The same applies to investing in yourself and in relationships. First, you must give yourself time and invest in becoming the best version of yourself. You must also learn to give unconditionally so that you can receive what you desire. Not offering out of fear of not receiving the same in return is a common mistake. Unconditional giving is the ultimate path, but it is a long road to travel. Don’t let this scare you; the journey itself is the key to success.

Ba Zi (The Four Pillars of Destiny) is an incredibly powerful tool that shows us who we are, impartially and without flattery. Once we understand our strengths and weaknesses, we'll know exactly where to work to improve. We’ll know what activities make us feel fulfilled, and most importantly, in the context of this article, who is the most compatible partner for us, and even how to identify them in a crowd.

In many East Asian countries, Ba Zi is more than just a system of divination—it's a respected discipline with a well-defined methodology, based on ancient principles like Yin-Yang, the Five Elements (Wu Xing), and time cycles. While it may not be considered a "science" in the Western sense, Ba Zi is systematically used to make essential life decisions. In places like China, Taiwan, Hong Kong, and Singapore, this system plays a key role in career choices, business strategies, the timing of investments, and marriage compatibility.

Have you ever wondered why some relationships seem to flow naturally, while others are full of challenges and misunderstandings? In prosperous Asian countries, Ba Zi is an essential tool for understanding the dynamics between partners. The timing of marriage, the compatibility between two people, and even the potential success or failure of a relationship are all analyzed in detail using this method.

While it’s hard to say which countries have the happiest couples, one thing is certain: nations like Singapore, Hong Kong, Taiwan, and even Malaysia, known for their high levels of prosperity, base many of their important decisions on Ba Zi charts. The fact that these countries have flourishing economies and high living standards can be seen as an indirect validation of Ba Zi's principles and techniques—decisions made in harmony with the rhythms of the universe often lead to success and stability.

So, if Ba Zi is used in Asia to understand compatibility in couples, wouldn’t it be interesting to find out what your chart says about your love life? Perhaps the answers you seek are already written in the stars… or more precisely, in the Four Pillars of your Destiny!

How to Analyze a Relationship with Ba Zi

When you want to analyze a relationship—whether one you’re in or one you hope to have—it’s best not to do it alone, even if you’re an experienced practitioner. Instead, seek guidance from someone who isn’t as emotionally involved as you are. This way, you can gain an objective perspective rather than one influenced by your own desires and expectations.

Approach this process with patience—there’s no pressure to force a relationship. If now isn’t the right time, that’s okay. The right moment will come, and the right person will cross your path. What truly matters is recognizing them when they appear and having the courage to take the first step if needed. You might be surprised to find that they don’t fit your initial expectations—perhaps they’re older or younger than you imagined, have a different style, or carry a different kind of energy. My advice? Let go of social constraints and so-called moral standards imposed by others. At the end of the day, this is about your life and your happiness. The only opinions that truly matter are yours and your partner’s. What others think? That’s irrelevant. In fact, the happier you are, the more likely you’ll attract envy and gossip from those who lack that same fulfillment. But that’s just life—it naturally filters out those who don’t genuinely support you. And in the end, only the few true friends remain. Aren’t they the only ones who truly count?

If now isn’t the right time for a relationship, focus on what is right for you—whether that’s career growth, financial stability, personal development, or simply enjoying life. Not everyone follows the same path, and not everyone needs the same things to be happy. Some people genuinely thrive on their own, without being in a serious relationship. If you’re one of them, don’t feel pressured to conform—just be yourself.

But enough talk—let’s get to work!

For this analysis, we’ll be using the BaZi Advisor web app, which I highly recommend. It was designed for everyone, from those discovering Ba Zi for the first time to experienced practitioners. Beginners will find all the insights they need, already analyzed and simplified, while professionals will gain a powerful tool to speed up their client assessments. More importantly, it ensures that no critical detail is overlooked, because even the most experienced practitioners can miss something from time to time.

So, let’s take a look at a Destiny Chart for a virtual John Doe!

Quick Introduction to Ba Zi

This chapter is written for those who are hearing about Ba Zi for the first time; others can skip directly to the next chapter.

Everything begins with the Destiny Chart, which consists of four Pillars corresponding to the year, month, day, and hour of birth, as shown in the diagram below. Each Pillar has an element (Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal, or Water) at the top, with its Yin or Yang polarity, known as the Heavenly Stem, which represents celestial energy. Below it is one of the 12 Zodiac Animals (each with a corresponding polar element marked underneath), representing the Earthly Branch. In Ba Zi, Qi energies manifest as attributes of the Polar Elements. In the case of the Zodiac Animals, these attributes are represented by one, two, or three Polar Elements located in the third row, called Hidden Stems.

At the base of each Pillar lie the so-called Auxiliary Stars, Qi energies with specific attributes—both positive and negative—calculated based on the other elements in the chart. The polar element in the Heavenly Stem of the Day Pillar is called the Day Master, and its attributes provide the first insights into a person’s fundamental characteristics. Depending on this element and its strength, which is determined by the season of birth, the influence of the other elements is assessed, identifying which ones are favorable or unfavorable and what they represent for the individual according to the relationships between the Five Elements.

Essentially, this Destiny Chart can be seen as a person’s energetic map, containing multi-layered information about all aspects of life. When analyzing a Destiny Chart, it is crucial to focus on the right aspects; otherwise, especially in the beginning, you may feel overwhelmed by the sheer amount of information. This is completely normal, as all these energies interact—not only with each other but also with those of the surrounding environment (as studied in Traditional Feng Shui) and with transient influences that shift according to specific cycles, whether hourly, daily, monthly, yearly, or decade-based (as explored in the Horoscope section).

However, it is important to remember that nothing is predestined. With this knowledge, we can make informed decisions at any time, and our evolution in life is shaped by our choices and actions. We can always take the easy path, when our decisions align with universal energies, or the challenging path, filled with obstacles, when we resist them. But nothing is impossible—ultimately, everything depends on our determination and perseverance.

To learn more about these concepts, we recommend reading the article “Long Story Short about Ba Zi”, and for those interested in a deeper understanding, we suggest our online course “BaZi Advisor – Ba Zi & Feng Shui Course”.

As you have probably already noticed, we all experience better times and more difficult periods, moments that favor certain activities and others when it is wiser to maintain a low profile and not push too hard, because the energies are simply not in our favor, at least for certain types of actions.

An essential role in understanding these fluctuations is played by the so-called Luck Pillars, which are calculated based on the birth moment and the gender assigned at birth for each individual. As an interesting fact, a person’s age in Ba Zi is calculated from the moment of conception, essentially adding nine months to their current age. Based on this age, Luck Pillars are determined for each ten-year cycle, and the information contained within them is often crucial for predicting key life events. There are, naturally, highly favorable periods for finding a life partner, but we will explore this topic further in the next section.

Let’s dive into some effective methods we can apply when it comes to relationships, love, and marriage.

Discover Your Hidden Charms

The "Peach Blossom" Star represents two of the Zodiac Animals that may appear in a Destiny Chart. These stars grant a person charisma, a mysterious factor that attracts others or gives a magical touch when it comes to managing or influencing people.

When we talk about attraction, we inevitably refer to the magic of the Peach Blossom (PB) star. This is not just about sexual attraction, but about the general attraction we emit. In the case of a first meeting – whether personal or business – attraction plays a key role. Here are a few personalized tips to help you express your hidden charm. Using the Peach Blossom Star method to analyze personal attractiveness is one of the simplest and most effective ways to approach potential relationships. Of course, it is not the only method available.

Every person has two Peach Blossom stars. The first one is linked to the Year Pillar and reflects the most outward aspect of the personality – the impression you make at first sight, the first impression you leave. For example, for John, this star is "Horse," and his charm comes from his spiritual depth, passion, and profound introspection. We know this from the analysis done on his Destiny Chart, and you can find out the same about yourself on the Profile Analysis page of BaZi Advisor.

The second Peach Blossom star is tied to the Day Pillar, symbolizing the inner self, that deeper layer of your personality. In John's case, this star is also "Horse." It plays an important role when you want the first impression to last; his charm comes from his spiritual depth, passion, and introspection, as the BaZi Advisor indicates. Where does your long-term charm come from? You can find out in just a few moments.

Having both Peach Blossom stars in his Destiny Chart, we can conclude that John is not only very attractive but also has the ability to remain captivating even after the first meeting.

To activate the Peach Blossom Star, a person must take certain steps and express themselves in a particular way. For example, in John's case, to activate the "Horse," he should think differently, always exploring new approaches and innovative methods to find the best solutions. You may need to do something different to activate your own Peach Blossom star.

For John to leave a great impression, attract others more easily, and connect better, he should behave in a visible way: charismatic, confident, elegant, looking good, expressing himself through body language, and using tone of voice and visual effects. A change in energy flow always starts with a change in mindset.

Another important trick is that you can visit the Feng Shui page and find out which sectors of your home or office contain the Peach Blossom energy. Learn how to activate them and during which period from the article "Love Made Easy: Your Quick Guide."

Finally, on the Profile Analysis page in BaZi Advisor, under Brief Profile Info / Tips & Tricks, you will find not only this detailed analysis but also, by selecting a person from your contact list (you only need to know their birth date, time is not mandatory), you can find out exactly what you should do and how you should behave to be as attractive as possible to that person at the first meeting. You will also learn how to maintain that person's interest for the long term.

If the Peach Blossom star is not present in your Destiny Chart, it doesn't mean you can't make use of it. Follow the periods in your Horoscope when it appears in the current Pillars (Day, Month, Year, Luck Pillar) and try to schedule important meetings during those times.

What the Partner's Day Master Hides About the Relationship

This is a very simple method, accessible to anyone, even without prior knowledge of Ba Zi. As mentioned in the introductory chapter and as clearly shown in the figure below, the Day Master is the polar element found in the Heavenly Stem of the Day Pillar. For this analysis, you need to look at both your own Destiny Chart and your Partner's. We will examine the Day Master of your Partner and look for that polar element in your own Destiny Chart, where it can occupy one of the following positions marked in yellow in the figure with 1, 2, … 5. We will then look for your own Day Master in your Partner's Natal Chart to see how this relationship appears from their perspective.

**Figure 3. John's Destiny Chart with Spouse Palace and DM analysis**

First, if your Partner's Day Master does not appear in your Chart, it is very likely that you will get bored easily in this relationship. The reverse is also true, in which case your Partner will get bored with you if your Day Master does not appear in their Chart. Next, we will reveal what it means if we find your Partner's Day Master in your own Destiny Chart for all the cases above 1-5.

When the element representing your Partner’s Day Master appears in one of the hidden stems of your Day Pillar, this means pure love, as your Partner is deeply connected to your soul. This is because the Partner’s Palace is represented by the Zodiac Animal in the Earthly Branch of the Day Pillar, and their characteristic Qi energies are those of the Hidden Stems. If the reverse is also true, you enjoy a relationship where pure love is mutual.
In this case, the two Day Masters are identical, which means that this is the ideal scenario where pure love surfaces.
If it appears in the Year Pillar, it means that your Partner is seen more as a friend or mentor than as a lover.
If it appears in the Month Pillar, it reveals that through the Partner, you are resolving mental issues with your parents. The Partner is a help, but not a great love.
If it only appears in the Hour Pillar, it reveals that there are interests from the Partner in this relationship, in most cases, though not all, related to the desire to have a child with them.

At a more advanced level, this analysis can be taken further, but in any case, if you check the relationship on the Compatibility page of BaZi Advisor, you will be able to see all these details and many more revealed.

Conclusion

In conclusion, we have explored the simplest methods for analyzing the compatibility between your Day Master and your Partner’s, providing you with a clear and accessible starting point for understanding your relationship. These techniques are easy to apply and can offer many insights at the beginning of the process of self-discovery and harmonizing as a couple. However, in the next article, we will delve into two more advanced methods, based on the analysis of the Stars and Gods in the Destiny Chart. The Stars represent the Elements, viewed through the lens of their relationships with the Element, which represents the Day Master, and each Star gives birth to two Gods, the Yin and Yang polarities of that Element. Stay tuned to learn more!